Thursday, 10 November 2016


WOW !!!

Somebody finally found a use fura Harley engine...

A berit leaks and makes a shyte cup o tea  


It's been outrageously quiet on here for far to long so i'm sticking this picture on here for today's quiz.

We all know that the motorcycle is a very rare Muntyfunter 340 with right hand mounted side house and left hand mounted side pencil case, but, can anyone guess the correct air pressure for the headlight ?

1st Prize is an Onion Bhaji

2nd and 3rd get a bite of 1st prize

Saturday, 20 June 2015

I know I've been rattling on about the Street Skrambler I've built but I now need to sort out whether I can do the trip to Applecross in October?

Saturday, 16 May 2015

Europe - May 2015

Having finally managed to overcome the insidious control of Google on anything you want to do on a computer I thought I'd post a few photos of our trip to Europe last week. Izzie tells me that Google are a great company and the employee benefits are amazing. That's because they run our bloody lives, tell us what we can and cant do and have a turnover bigger that the GDP of Sweden.

Anyway back to the issue in hand. After the untimely demise of the Public Relations Secretary from this jaunt the gallant twosome of the Grand Mahout and the The Cool DL decided not to weep and cancel the trip but to forge ahead manfully and try not to fall out along the way.

The trip involved five countries in four days and we got as far east as Germany (well 2 miles inside the border).

An initial stop was made on Passendale at Varlet Farm where we are becoming regulars. The warm welcome, apple pie and beer stocked fridge are a thing of legend and, if you haven't been, you need to!

 The following day saw a tootle through Belgium across to Luxembourg. A bit of poor routefinding (GPS programming) saw far too much motorway but once past Bastogne and Wiltz the roads certainly made up for it. Wiltz to Vianden is 34 kilometres and there isn't a straight of more than 100 metres in all 34 kms. We crossed into Germany and checked into out hotel in Korperich despite there being a total language barrier. 

Back to Vianden for tea we food a great pizza restaurant called the Ancient Cinema which was notable both for having an English menu and having the tallest waitress in history. The Cool DL pondered where to buy some step ladders at such a late time. On the extended ride back to the hotel along some more stunning roads, the Grand Mahouts bike decided to shed it rear light lens which was subsequently found in a million pieces which were picked up because litter seemed just rude in this Sound of Music style landscape. Once back at the hotel we fashioned a new taillight out of a red plastic bag and some gaffer tape.


It seems that the European smoking ban doesn't apply in Deuchland and the bar was like a chinese opium den. We had to forego beer and find another bar but just to prove it wasn't a one-off every bugger was smoking in there too!! I think we managed a hearty 4 beers before giving up to consider our upcoming passive smoking lung cancer futures.

The following day dawned bright and sunny despite the forecast of rain and showers. The trip back across Luxembourg was equally entertaining especially as it seems no-one gets out of bed on a Saturday morning. We found a more scenic route back towards France and stopped for lunch in the picturesque town of Givet.

O leaving we took a bit of a detour and went through a tiny village called Doige. After marvelling at a stunning Ford Mustang parked up at the side of the road a sideways glimpse into a shabby old bike shop sparked some light bulb in the GM's brain. Was that a Scott Squirrel in the window. After a U turn and a dodgy parking manoeuvre the Aladdin's cave was discovered. There was almost as much exotica and racing royalty in the shop as there was at the whole Classic Bike Show a few weeks previous. See what you can identify from the following pictures (sorry for the quality but the windows hadn't been cleaned since WW2). 

Our continuing trip through Belgium and France went nicely until the vagaries of the Sat Nav pushed us onto the A25 Toll Motorway for 93 kms. Given the gale force westerly that had developed we felt like we had done 10 rounds with Tyson Fury by the time we had to pay our 4.10 euros toll.

That night we stayed in a B&B in Le Wast near Calais owned by a chap with a BMW R1200RT. We didn't hold that against him and they made us very welcome. The only restaurant in town was in a posh Chateau Hotel and we dined on Oysters of Chicken in Re Wine, Roast Rabbit and masses of cheese! Luckily the beer wasn't too expensive but overall the Cool DL reckoned it was the most expensive meal he had ever bought!!

The following day saw us on the Channel Tunnel and the usual drag up the M"/M25/M11/A1 only broken by a visit to an OK Diner for a curly fries lunch!

We had a great time and, with a bit better GPS skills, we could have avoided some of the French/Belgian motorways which seem to eat tyres for breakfast.

Anyone for camping at Applecross in September?



Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Ebay enquiry

The PR Secretary was selling a H100 on Ebay, so someone (ahem) asked the following question about it on the messaging service

 I'm planning on going to Kazakstan, and was going to take a Hongdu, but this looks just the ticket. I can't afford it, would you swap it for a bathroom suite in avocado, and a blue crushed velvet bar stool with a fag burn in it? Oh, and a signed copy of 'Sobatmas News'?

Bogney Trotter


The reply is epic 

Dear Bogney
I've read with great interest about your planned trip and current financial predicament pertaining to said foray and must admit, normally I wouldn't condone such blatant acts of utter stupidity, let alone be party to any such wank. But, after a recent severe blow to the head from a rather sharp claw hammer in a freak sewing accident, I now find myself in the position where I find the whole ' Going to Kazakhstan on a Hongdu with no money ' rather beguiling and bewitching and I imagine, just a little hint of indecent mesmo.
So as a result, I am willing to offer my fullest support for your now, what I believe, courage's en-devour and can make available forthwith said motorcycle for your use on on all accounts that prove inevitably, to be irrevocably unaccountable or morally unobtainable .
In return, all I ask is this:
1) Please could you not talk about, impersonate or dress up as Elvis for a whole day
2) Can you sing a 'song of sixspence' in a public place but charge £4.87 for it.
3) Step into your own shadow and shout ' Spit, spit, dirty spit, feltcho' in the style of Les Dennis
4) Take my trousers down to the dry cleaners and ask them who they belong to

I know, given the inherent complexity of these circumstances, these seem like poultry requests, but my fetish for chicken has long been my Achilles toe and your simple efforts would go some way to quelling the seasoned mist that hangs over my left shoulder like a box set of 'Where's my salad cream?'. I do hope all the effort I have gone to here on your behalf will be greatly misconstrued and branded a liabless misnomer in a small claims church

Thanks, for everything yet nothing at all

Quiche BIiggary 3rd MBA,MBB, MBC MBD TWAT

P.S Signed copy of 'Sobatmas News' is in the post

Sunday, 27 April 2014


So what was the Public Relations Secretary hoping to achieve in this particular get-up?

Tuesday, 21 January 2014


How about a foray into the inner depths of Dumfries and Galloway and cake and beer for day one, hop on the ferry to Ireland from Stranraer day 2 and up to Giants Causeway for a photoshoot and cake,digs in some outback Irish shanty town with a pub, then ferry back int mornin day 3 and interesting route home (incorporating cake stops).  Did i mention about stopping for cake?

Just some ideas for the pot

For your consideration

Knoydart is very cool, but not accessible via motorcycle unfortunatley, so how about this on the remote table...Yes yes, a know there's no pub, which breaks all commitee rules, but its remote with a capital R and its on a tiny wiggly bit o tarmac thats barely a road, a road which probably doesn't see a vehicle from one day to the next, which seems like the ideal reason for goin....

Also try this: