Friday, 27 May 2011

C=RW 2

Whilst presenting STR (special theory of relativity) to his fellow scientists at the 1905 WTFDTM (What the flip does that mean) convention Albert Einstein stated " a pigging hate rind me " (german slang for rain and wind ). Now this was no random statement since this relates to the 400 mile journey Albert had made the day earlier to get to the covention on his Toblerone 500,a bike he'd constructed himself and made entirely of Swiss chocolate.

The morning before the convention he had been stud at the bus stop waiting for the number 48 to Hasselhoff, when a passing mail pigieon stopped for a fag and a quick Stein and mentioned in passing that aformentiond bus had collided with an ASDA trolly,creating a Brolly,no one had been hurt but all the passengers were now stood very closely together underneath it waiting for rain with the Driver at the front charging passers by 2 florins to ring his bell.

" Fluminumers " thought Albert " its 400 miles to the convention and all ive got is a candy bar,a slightly iffy scientific thoery and a picture of someone ive never seen before ". There was a flash,but that was his dad up to his old tricks again, "ive got it" thought Albert " i'll make a motorcycle out of this chocolate bar and since my Special Theory of Relativity only fudges around the issue of Gravity,i can state without reprisal that it doesnt exsist,so therefore it floats and doesnt need wheels and therefore no means of propulsion and i can use the picture of someone ive never seen before as a number plate saving me from prosecution as i pass speed cameras at the speed of light......wait...number plates that travel faster than light would be speed camers proof......IM GOING TO BE RICH !!! ". And he was,selling over a gazillion in the first month via his Ebay shop,which is even more impessive since the internet,in its infancy in those days,was nothing more than very, very long pieces of string and a lot of shouting.

What STR couldnt help Albert with was the torrential and gale force rind he encountered on his 400 mile trek,he may have travelled there for free at light speed whilst expending zero energy but he was very cold and very wet when he got there,if only he had applied his scientific magnificence to waterproof clothing the world and space time travel would be a very different place. And it is with this i refelct on are recent rind battled foray to Skye and Tyndrum and conclude ' If its good enough for Albert Einstein it,might just mek a do for The Oboto Sobatmas '

I hereby forward the motion that Toblerone be standard inclusion for Oboto tool kits.

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