Would combining some of the items in your list make them exempt from your kind advice??
I wonder as I'd lay money on few amongst us being able to resist the lure or items 1 and 4 if both were available in sufficient quantities - namely 2 or 3 scantily clad beauties and a large child's paddling pool full of Birds Custard (appropriately named methinks!).
Having seen (and ordered) a pair of caliper piston pulling pliers (available from Sealy's for under £20) I'm prepared to have another crack at teasing the offending little blighter out of it's hidey hole. The damn thing slid back easily enough so with care I may be lucky enough to find it's just a bit of gunk behind it that's stopping it moving forward. If not then it's over to the mechanics but (and I'm prepared to eat mi wurdz for ignoring good advice) I reckon it should be more or less the same as overhauling the calipers on a Maestro.
Watch this space for news of developments or failing that see the
online obituaries of the Derbyshire Times
(search either for 'local buffoon drowns in bizarre paddling pool accident' or something rather messier and altogether less pleasant)